You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
