problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
