How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
