woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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