I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
