It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize