Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
