Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
