these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
BRING THE BAGELS
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
