It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize