she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize