OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
