I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
