I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he shaved USA in his pubs
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
