Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize