Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
