Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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