I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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