Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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