Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
