We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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