No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
