Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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