Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
