Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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