God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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