i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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