Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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