You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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