And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
