Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
