I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize