nut hugger
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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