Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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