He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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