need another drink. this is the easiest way
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
