we're blogging at a bar
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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