i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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