I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
