College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
