I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
