He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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