WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
