all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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