the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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