I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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