I'm drive I can fine osifer
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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