Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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