I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
