Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
