I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
