I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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