i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
