Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
