I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They took my balls.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
