DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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