these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
