took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
