as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone signed my nipple.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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