i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize