Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
